As I See The World

I was talking with a relitive today about old times with my grandfather,and my family and we started talking about life and how we grow up in it.

I started tell this relative of mying how at least how i seen the world around me when i was growing up and how I see it now. I told this relative how when i was growing up before my teen years i though WOW  i can not wait till i am in my teens,then once i hit 13 year that was a great year but it was just there just like any other year.

Then,once i was close to 16 i though ok cool now i can drive a car and that will be great,but after i had drove for a few mounts and,now years the times that i think back to it im like wow,why was i so excited to turn 16.

18  for me was the same way. The only thing different for me was that i was legal and i was in school.
And as you guessed,21 was basically the way 18 was .

So,why is it that before i  started my teen years i seen this big world that we live in so huge. I mean from the day i was born till i was 12 years old i felt this world was like disney world,with  stores that had everything in them to big signs that lit up and then from 13 to 21 yes they were great memories but the world too me did not seem so big.

So,why is that ,why is it that when we are little that the world seems.so big,then when we get older it seems a little bit smaller?

Dont get me wrong,.I still love this big old crazy world that i live in and would not trade what memories i have or are making but i just seems weird to me how in my eyes this world goes from huge to small and now to medium..

Please let me know how many of you all  feel this way and what you all think of this.

My Faviorte Photos.

I was looking through my camera the other day and I found some photos that I had forgot about and I thought what better place to share them then here  so here we go and I hope you like them.

This was my pawpaw God I miss that man.

 

Me and My best friend at some lake

My Relay For Life Cancer walk event

 

This was when I was at the beach.

These are just a few of my very faviorte photos

Please Stop The Music.

Every since i was in high school, i have never liked,loud music. For some reason ,everytime i here loud music i kind of freck out.

I dont like music up when i am driving,or cleaning my room, or even in reastraunts. Now, when i say i freck out, i dont mean i run away and scream,no. When i hear something thats loud I basically shut down and just get away from it.

I don't even know why i do that,and what ever turned,me off about loud music. I just don't like it, pure and simple as that., i keep,my music down just enough for me,myself and i to hear it.

I know, i am kind of weird,and expecially when it comes to things like that,but it drives me crazy . I told you i'm nuts.

What Stuff????

As well all know, Christmas was just yesterday and yes I got quite a lot of things. The thing that I find about my self is that after Christmas I find myself woundering where in this world I am going to put all of my new things.

I am very blessed in that, I have a lot of family. With a lot of family comes a lot of things that they give me. Like  I just got a new computer. Now I love my new computer but now I don't know where I am  going to put my old one. I hate to throw it away because all It needs is to be fixed and have viruses removed but if I don't get rid of it I have no where to put my new one.

See, what I mean I have way to much stuff.  I don't want my friends and family to think that I am not thankful for everything that they give me, I just don't know what else to do with my stuff.. I wounder if anyone else has this problem. and if you do what is your solution to this, Trust me I  can use all  the help you can give me. Any takers.

My Computar OOPS

So as you all might have noticed, I have not been on my blog for a while, that's because my computer have failed me yet again.

I have the worst luck with computers and technology ever. This is not the first time that my computer has failed me it won't be the last time im sure. I should just be banned from all technology

I am getting a computer for Christmas but, I don't believe that I will be able to do anymore post until Christmas, maybe, it just depends on my computer. it just has a mind of its own.

I miss not posting, so after I get a new computer I'm going to post the way. I'm going to go post crazy. hopefully I'm not the only one without a computer oops or technology oops.

Where Do You See Your Self In 10 Years?

When I was in middle school I wrote a paper about where I would be in 10 years. Well the other day, while cleaning out some things from my closet I found that paper again and decided to do a  post about it so here we go.

When I read that old paper I had wrote i had some things that I have not done and some things that have come true. One of the things that I had wrote down on there was  that I would be in Italy in 10  years . Why Italy I don't know maby I just really liked Italy but it was on the paper. To say the least that has not come true but I have been some great places.

"So,with me 10 years I could have seen my self  in some different country like Italy or France or some wild country like that. Although that has not come true,I am almost relived  because it has turned into something else. Something more amazing. It has turned into me staying close to my family and friends. I think if I would have moved away to some country it would have gotten me apart from my family and friends and land that I love and that's something that I would not want to do in a million years. And even know I have not been able to go to some other far away country I have been to some amazing places and that's still and adventure. SO maby me not following my past 10  year plan was not a bad  thing. Somethings just work out for the best I think. Now to make a new 10 year plan lets see what I come up with this time".

 So the question that I am asking everyone today is 10 years ago what would you have seen your self doing or being and has where you seen your self being come true or turned into something else?

Let It Fall.

As you all know,fall is coming as we speck. I love this time of yeah,from the colors of the tree leaves changing to the smells in the air,and the breeze in the air makes it even better. This is the time of the year when I love to just take a walk in the outside with the cool breeze though my hair.

I always have such amazing memories of this time of year. Expecailly when I was little. Every fall when the leaves would fall from the trees my grandfather would go outside and take me with and he would have this old green rake and he would give me a little wooden one and we would rake the leave up together.Well more like he would rake them up and I would stand there.But after he would rake them up into a big,huge pile then I would jump in them.. That was always so much fun.

I love all the other times of the years but fall and winter is one of my faviorts,and I am sure I am not the only w ho loves the fall. So I have told you all my faviorte memories from the fall. SO,now I wanna know some faviorte memories.

Real Life In A Song.

I have been thinking a lot about music latley and how the words in a song can really compare to peoples lives. With so many different choices of music out there from country to hip hop to rock and roll to just the oldies im sure that everyone out there has a song that they can realate too or a song that the words just inspire them. If I could have one song that would inspire me it would be A song called" I'm Gonna Be Somebody". The words are great and inspires me and lets me know that there are endless possiblitys for me in this world.

So My question for you all are if you all had to pick just one song that you could relate too or just  that inspires you what would it be and why?

The Best Movies Ever.

I have been thinking about this alot. If I had the ability to transport myself into any of my faviorte movies what would it be and why.. I decided that If I had that ability to do that I would transport myself in the "Alice And Wounderland" the cartoon version not the Tim Burton directed one although Tim Burton is good at what he does  I still like the cartoon one better.

Thank about this for a second. That would be so cool. I would love to be in "Alice And Wounderland" how cool would that be. I could fall down a whole into a magical land and fight the red queen,talk to flowers  and even see a rabbit with a cool little clock.

Yeah I know im kinda of a dork. But oh well I love my movies and expecially this one. I don't know what it is about this movie,maby it;s the magical whole and talking to a rabbit that I think is cool or maby its the cool little ability that  I would have to talk to flowers I don't know or maby it's because I really am nuts.  Any way  you look at it,it would still be cool.

I'm sure I can't be the only one who wishes that they would be transported into their faviorte movie. So my question to you all are if you had one movie that you wish you could be transported into which one would it be and why. Thank hard.

MY BLANK CANVAS BODY.

As you all know,I have a tattoo. No it's nothing bad and yes I love it. It's so beautiful and amazing and I consider it a piece of art. It's nothing big and it does mean something..

Lately I have had some of my friends and family asking me,why I got my tattoo on my shoulder and why did I want it on my body in the first place. Well I though here would be the perfect place to through around this question.

In my brain,I look at things a little weird but I have a good reason to . In my mind I look at my tattoo as a piece of beautiful art. I also look at art differently as well. I consider art to be a major part of this earth that we are living on.  The way that I see it, art is all around it. We see art in the trees and in the air,why not on people.

Now,don't get me wrong when I say I would not want tattoos all over although I would not think badly of people who do have them all over. But,why not on people. If art can be all over this world why does' it look so badly when it's  on people.. To me, I am just a  blank canvas waiting to be painted.

So,now that I have thrown around this question I ask you all this question? What do you all think about art? Do you believe tattoos are art ?

My Tattoo Art Work.

So,yeasterday I got me my new tattoo. I love this tattoo,it's such a piece of art and was done by an artist name art which was amazing. It's so beautiful. It took about 1hour and 45 min to two hours which was not bad at all. I would do it over again in a heart beat. I got in on my should blade and I am now in love with my new piece of art work. Hope everyone enjoys the photo of it.

.I LOVE IT . ps: That's the tattoo shop in the back ground..

Fathers Day With A Broken Heart.

Todays post is about fathers day yes but I am afraid its not very happy.. As you all know I have a dad and a mom,but  as you all know I also have my Grandparents who have been like parents to me.

See,this fathers day is hard for me because I lost my Pawpaw in Feb, from cancer. He was my hero. When I woke up this morning and I picked up the phone to call and wish him a Happy Fathers Day,I relized that I couldn't because he was up in heaven. So for this fathers day I though I would post some photos of me and my Pawpaw and remember him that way Even know I know he is always with me,I still wish he was here with me.  So here are the photos and I hope you all enjoy them as much as I had living them.

Me and my Pawpaw . He was teaching me how to put my hair up.

This is a photo of my Pawpaw and my grandmother . This is a younger version of him.

Pawpaw and my  Technical School,gradaction.  That was such a great memory.

This was pawpaw and one of my cosins. he loved all children and animals. He was such a gentle spirt.

 This was my Graduaction from my technical school,with my mawmaw,cosin,and me and my pawpaw

See, these are just some of the photos,that I have with me and my PawPaw. Pawpaw, I miss you  so much. There is not a day that goes by,that I don't wish for one more hug and kiss,or one more story. I am taking care of mawmaw just like I told you I would. I love you pawpaw.. I know you are up there in Heaven, looking down on all of us, and healing my broken heart,when , you may not be here in body,but your always in my heart and that means more to me than a million dollars.. I know your up there In heaven with the father not in pain,, God I wish I could just give you one more hug and kiss.  I love you so much Pawpaw. and I know you have got your arms around my hearts healing the open wounds. I love you pawpaw. Happy Fathers day Pawpaw  up there with the father.,I love you pawpaw..

MEMORIES OF A DIFFERENT TIME.

  The mind is a powerful thing as we all know. With me I have a horrible mind, which is not a good sign for the future but that's a different story. With everyone talking about memories and showing photos,I though it would only be fitting that I talk about memories and photos. No,I will not be posting photos,just because it would only be too hard to pick but I will tell you about my family and how for some odd reason they can remember  photos and stories just by looking at them.


My Great Grandmother on my dads side,who may I remind everyone is in her 90's  has the best story telling mind I think that I have ever seen.  She is one of those people who can sit down and write down every person that I am related too,even if it's back in the olden days or even before her time. She loves to sit down and research this stuff.


When she looks at a photo it's even better.  She can tell you, who was in the photo,where it was taken,why it was taken and even what year it was taken. Don't get me wrong I love looking at photos,but if someone would ask me all of those question about a photo, I don't thing that I would be able to tell you the answers


My Great Grandmother on my moms side was like this as well. Although with her she might be able to tell you about an old photo,but if you would ask her about who I was she could not tell you.,probably because she had Alzheimer's.,still she was very sharp when it came to looking at photos.


Maby it's just me,but it seems like it doesn't matter how old you get,when you look at
photos each one has a story behind them. Photos share memories,and tells up stories upon stories.They make us laugh,they make us cry,and can bring family's closer together when they share the memories that are told upon each one.


With my family,it's always been that every time we would get together with my grandmother,we would get a photo and a memory.With my great grandmothers,they have lived those photos and memories so they know what it was like. Maby that's why they remember so well,or maby it's because in their minds and in their hearts they are reliving those memories if that makes any sense,What ever it is I LOVE that they share those memories with me.


Remember: A Picture is worth a Thousand Words.



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The Little Voice Inside My Brain.

 Have you ever felt like your just swimming in a sea of stress .  Ever feel like there is someone inside you mind  just making you feel worse. If you have then you know what I feel like today and latley.

Life latley has just been nuts. It almost feels like it's been passing me by in an instance which is weird to me,because it's something that I told my self that I would not let happen .  I feel  like I am trying to juggle two things at once.

I know we all go through stress and difficult time and I  think this week is my week to just be stressed .. My boyfriend is always saying that I stress all the time.  Ok,so I have to stay that I dnt stress all the time,just some of the time. 

Anyways, im looking back on this post and relizing that I keep getting of topic. oops.

My Relay For Life Photos.

So, I told you all that I would have photos to come from my Relay For Life cancer walk  so here they are and I hope you all enjoy them.

This was two candles that I had in memory of my grandfather.

Me and My best friend Panda during the walk.

I love this sign.

These were the bags that had candles burning in them

Me and My friend having way too much fun befor the relay

The photo on the back of my relay shirt

 These are only some of the photos that I took of the relay. It was a very touching walk and I cant wait to do it again next year.  I walked 30 laps frm 6:30pm in the evening to 6:00 at night. I was the only one out of my team to stay all 12 hours and walk through the night, My team called the Forever Fighers  walked 20 laps. I love my team.

Walkin For A Cure.(Please Read)

OK all,so as you see I am writing in a different color today. Well there is a reason for that and I am just thrilled to share it with you.

See I get the opportunity to do walk for a great cause but a horrible disease. I am doing a walk called Relay For Life. Some of you may have heard of this but if you haven't let me tell you about it. Relay For Life is a cancer walk. People from all over the place get together and form teams just like I did. Then those teams raise money for cancer and all the money that the teams get goes to finding a cure for cancer. Them we all get together and walk.

You can walk for however long you want. Since the event is from 6pm to 6am you could walk all night if you want.

I have never done this event before so I am a little nervous but  also amazed how so many people are coming together to walk for such an amazing cause. People come from all over America and I even have friend that are coming down from Canada to walk on my team which I love them for do this . This event is something I think everyone should do at least once in their lives.

It's truly a heart warming event and I am sure that it's gonna be amazing. I am team captain for my team so I picked what I wanted my team name to be which is The Forever Fighters. .

Don't worry all I will be posting so many photos so stand by for some amazing photos...  If you want to learn more about this walk and what it's all about please check out. RelayForLife.Org

Are You Gonna Catch Me Or Not.(A must Read)

Sorry all,I stole the title of my post from a song but,it really relates to my post today. 
You know it's been crazy lately. I just now get to take a deep breath and breath and get my head on straight and get my thought on what I have been thinking about lately on paper so bare with me if I get a little off topic.

We all have safety nets. No,I am not talking about actually talking about actual safety nets. No,the kind of safety nets that I am talk about is ones that stay with you forever,no matter what happens. See, for 21 years I had amazing safety nets. Now I am going to be honest and say that I have never had my parents as safety nets,so in place of them I have my grandparents.

A couple of days after I wrote the post "The Loss Of A Great Man"  I realized that I wrote about how much I miss my grandfather but,what I didn't  tell you in that post is how much he was my safety net..

It's weird because for 21 years he has always been there. Taking care of me in every way that he can,both him and my grandmother . When he passed away it didn't hit me that my safety net was gone until a couple of days ago. Now maby it's just me and maby I'm just nuts but lately I have been feeling sorry for myself.

I have been thinking that he is  not here any more so now 1/2 of my safety net is gone and I am lost .. But then after talking with my other part of my safety net,which is my grandmother I got to thinking on how even know he is not here doesn't mean that he is gone. He is still keeping me safety and when I fall he is there to pick me up.

Like I said,everyone of us has a safety net. For me  it is my grandfather and my grandmother.   For others even if we do not realize it ,it could be  even a total stranger.Or it could be someone more that we know like,a husband,or your sons or daughters,or friends or maby just a co worker or even someone who has passed on. Who ever your safety net is keep them close to your hearts.

Make sure that if you know who your safety net is that you love them and spend that amazing time with them.  Also realize that even if you think that  your safety net is gone,remember that their not. Their always with you. See safety nets are not like money or anything else.  It's not something that can be taken away from you no matter how hard anyone tries. Safety nets are their  to stay.

If I can teach anything from this post it's don't do what I did to myself. Don't ever think that your alone. I blamed myself for a while when my pawpaw (grandfather) died . I though I was alone. I didn't take that time to see that my safety net is still here.  So do your self's a favor and  make sure that you love your safety nets. and remember that people are here when you need them to be.

Pilliow Talk.

So,in the last few days it seems me and my body have not been connecting with my brain. I just cannot sleep any more and I can' t figure out why. Although I have never had a good sleep pattern,even when I was younger and even through college it seems now,it's even worse.

I have just come to the conclusion that maby my brain is dosen't like me and that's why it will not allow my eyes to get some sleep. Now we all know that everyone has of corse different sleep pattens but with mying it seems like I can never get to sleep

It's like my brain and my eyes are having a 24 hour party . I have tried so many things to get me to sleep  like,hot tea,hot coffee, aromatherphy,even those jell mask. nothing seems to work. Well,hopefully I can get some sleep tonigh because my booty is tired and this women needs sleep. So for tonight all good night,hope everyone including myself can get some sleep.

Life's Little Mircle Baby.

Ok all, these are must see photos. I love this little boy and I could not be anymore happy with him. I got to love him so take a look.

This little boy is amazing his name is Kaleb. He weighted in at 7 pounds 14 ounces and 19 inches long.
I think I have tooken about a million pictures of him and probably a little more. He was born at 12:28pm in the morning right after dinner time which is great. . Oh and before anyone ask he is not mying, he is my cosin who I am helping to raise. You know the harderst part looking at these photos ,the hardest part is looking at them and knowing my grandfather did not get to see him.  God he would have loved him and that's something that I wish he could have done.  Just like the other day,when  he was up all night crying because of an upset stomach the one  person that I know could have got him to stop cryin is my grandfather .Just like he did with me he would have just sat him on his lap and rocked him to sleep.  I see a lot of that in Kaleb.  He is just so amazing.  I am bascially helpping to raise that baby,but you know what, to tell you the truth I would not have it any other way. my cosin lives me so of corse I get to see him everyday and show him the way of life.  I hope that you all like the photos, please look at them and tell me what you all think.