Should Have Seen It In Color.

"Go rest  high on that mountain, son your work on earth is done.. Go to heaven  a shoutin for the father and the son. Oh how we cried the day you left us. We gathered round your grave to grieve, wish I could see the angles faces,when they hear your sweet voice sing."

Sorry I stole this title of this post from  a song,but it fit this blog.  The lyrics that I posted up top of the page here sums my  Grandfather (or as I always called him  PawPaw) up like no other.  You know as I wrote my last post called " The Lost Of A Great Man" I keep thinking  to my self that this all feels like a dream. Kinda like any minuet now I was gonna wake up and  see him setting on his old blue rocking chair. As I woke up today that wasn't the case,and in fact that will never be the case again.

When I woke this morning I felt like I seen everything in black and white. I felt like my life was a movie  that had no color.  Now as I am here writing this blog to you all, I am also here on the couch looking at these photos from back when.

As, I look at these photos in this old shoe box,a movie projector  is playing over in my mind, of my family and my grandfather  and those memories that they bring back. As people look at these photos you can imagine how nice those memories are, the best thing is I got to see those photos  in color.

I got to live those memories,  I got to see them in a way that no one else did, which is something that no one can ever take away from me.

So, where everyone looks and sees those photos  as just a memory,I have and always will see those  memories in color. 

Those memories are something that will  be with me forever.   Those memories are the best presents that I could have ever gotten.

If there is one lesson  that I could ever give to anyone it's take life and live those memories in color, and not just in black in white although those memories are amazing as well,it's better in color AND also remember  that those memories that you have are something that  nobody can ever take away.


"This is a memorial to my grandfather.  PawPaw, I am taking those memories that  I made with you and the family and seeing them in color".

The Loss Of A Great Man.

Today my family lost a great man. Today Feb 17,2012 We lost my grandfather. He passed away from cancer  and it has been so hard.  My family has really been in such  a horrible moon with the loss off  my grandfather.

I loved and still love my grandfather. It's only been a couple of hours since my grandfather passed away and I already feel like he has been gone for so long. I love him like crazy. I dont know what I am gonna do without my pawpaw.

My grandfather fough till the very end. He tried and tried but the cancer got the best of him. This is such a hard day and I dont know how I am gonna get through this.  This is one of the worst days of my life. The only thing that I can say is that he had a strong women standing beside  him. My grandmother stood and  fought for my grandfather.

Losing my grandfather is so hard. It's hard because I wasn't there to see him at the very end. Even know he passed away at home i still did not get to say good-bye in till the very end which is the hardiest thing because I blame my self for not being there.

Losing a family member is so bad expecially when it's your grandfather.
I don't know what else to say except for I feel like crap.
I love you pawpaw.  No one can replace you and no one ever will. 
Sorry all but this is not a very happy pos

The Snow Globe Effect.

Sorry all for the late post but I have had a million things going on And it's just crazy. The most important thing is I am here now. So let me Go ahead with this post. So lately I have had a million things going on with my life. It's kinda life I have been on a Roller coaster. Actually,for the past couple of ,mounts its been like this but lately I have Had some weird emotions. These are feelings that I have never felt before and to be quite honst It scares me. Have you ever look into a snow globe and though "wow, I wounder what it would be like to be in there". Ok,that's what I have been looking into for the past couple of weeks. Now when I say I have been looking into A snow globe I don't mean an actual snow globe.What I mean is a snow globe of my life and all that is in it. Every time I look into this snow globe and shake it up I wounder "why". I wounder why every time I watch this Snow globe all I can see is something bad happening. I always though they showed something good,but my snow globe Lately has been showing me scary things and it's freaky. To be honst the reason that I am writing this post is because I have my grandfather who is very sick,and not Only that but I have work where I go and work 7 days a week, and to be truthful it's just all to much. I feel like I am standing around outside the world and shaking it up only to watch everybody else live there lives. I just don't know anymore,. I'm so confused and I just wish for once that someone would shake up my snow Globe only to find me in it and to find smiles and happiness. Sorry all, this is not a very happy post but I had to get it off my chest and let it out. I'm trying to turn my snow globe from a negative to a positive. I promise my next post will be happier and more Positive. Thanks all for letting me get this all off my chest.